Bugs...

Tonight I am CRAWLING out of my skin. I feel like I am covered in bugs. Nats, flies, fleas, spiders, you name it.

I started treatment last Monday and I am herxing, these bugs are desperate to live and they are driving me insane!

But to bring you up to date a bit, I did finally have my awesome purple Power Port placed 2 weeks ago today. And I started treatment a week ago.

This was right after surgery and I wasn't accessed. But you can see the tiny red dot below the incision, that is where the center of my port or the septum, is and the needle will go.

And this is with it accessed!

Now, I will attempt to try to explain THIS months treatment plan, it is a bit confusing, until you live and breath it, and then you can still get confused.  :)

So treatments will only ever be on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, 3 weeks on and one week off where I'll go back to D.C. to see my Dr. and figure out the new plan.

This month is:
1st. week: IV antibiotic, 2 times a day
2nd week: add in an oral antibiotic
3rd. week: I'll add yet another oral antibiotic, but that one will be Thursday and Friday only.
4th week: OFF! And back to D.C.

I know next month they are going to add another IV antibiotic, plus Mepron (a thick, yellow-like, paint med for Babesia), and who knows  what all else. I may update you then, however no promises.

Anyway, I had to find something to take my mind off these bugs and the pain and all the other symptoms.

Also, please continue to pray for my friends I mentioned last post, particularly Juliana. She was admitted today, they don't know what is going on, but its NOT good. This was her first trip outside the house this year....in an ambulance.  :(

AND.....I have now realized that these "bugs" is actually all over nerve pain, just coming on slowly. :(

Calling on my prayer warriors...

Today this blog is not about me.

I want everybody who would have spent time praying for me today, to pray for 2 others who are in need of intercession: Juliana and Bella

Juliana is a wife and mother of a 4 year old and she is fighting with every bit that she has, to live. And has been for many months! I do not know all the specifics. I do know that she has had a collapsed lung for months, among many, many, many other complications!

And Bella is a 12 year old, again fighting with all she has. She is in so much pain that she has been on her hands and knees for days at a time. Not eating. Not talking, except to say that "they aren't helping me". She is so young and is no longer lucid, mentally and emotionally, she is gone. She no longer has the coping skills of your average sick patient, not to mention child.

So today I ask you to pray for Juliana and Bella, please. They are suffering so much more than I and they need a lot of prayer!

I am impossible...

Absolutely impossible.

I say I
want company.
I want to talk.
I want somebody
to come sit
on my bed
with me.

But at the
same time,
I am so
tired of people
coming in.

I want to be left alone
but I don't
want to be
alone.

I hate people
seeing me like
this.
I hate
the way I
look.
I'm not
dressed for company.

I feel horrible.
They may sit
on my bed.
And jiggle.
I feel worse.

I have nothing
to say.
I can't
think
when they ask
a question.

I am impossible.

In my head
I want you here.
But my body
freaks out
when there are
people around.

I am just simple impossible
I am sorry.