Well, I'm back. And I don't really know what to say. Except that I'm struggling.
I'm sick.
I'm exhausted. Melting into my bed, becoming one with it, exhausted.
And I can't think.
I am positive for Mycoplasma and HHV-6. This helps explain my complete exhaustion.
I started a new detoxing IV. I think its called PTC for short, but I can't remember the true full name. I had a good herx reaction from the first one but they won't let me do that again, so we've done it without the glutathione push afterwards ever since. I'm getting them once a week and I've had 3 now I think.
My BUN is back down a point. It had been up to 6 but this month it fell back to 5. I had been hoping for it to be a 7 or 8 so that I could cut back on my amino acid IVs but that isn't going to be happening. :(
The one thing that has improved is my nausea. It is not constant anymore. I still struggle with it sometimes, but not as badly. And I have been able to eat roughly the equivalent of 1 meal a day most of the time too.
Otherwise, I'm just seriously lacking motivation. I KNOW this can and will work, its just that I'm tired of it already! I've been treating for 18 months and have been house/bed bound for a year. Its really old. Yet at the same time, I hardly remember what its like to be able to function. Properly. To a certain extent, I don't think I've ever known what thats like, but I sure had much more functionality (is that even a word??) than I do now!!
I know God has everything under control and that He has me here, in this position for a specific purpose. So I just rest in that knowledge. And know that He is the One who gives me all that I do have, it could be so much worse!!
Thank you all for your prayers and support and love! It really means a LOT to know that people are thinking about me. It is easy to feel forgotten with this isolating disease.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Lynnelle
So sorry to see you are struggling so much, Lynnelle. I've got all of the viruses too and they definitely can be a bear. Hugs to you while you get through this rough patch and heal. Keep holding on...
ReplyDeleteLynnelle, I can relate to a lot that you're saying. I have Mycoplasma and HHV6 too, and the fatigue is unbearable, although I continue to work, otherwise I won't survive. It IS a very isolating disease, and the lack of motivation is so diabling. You sound like you have peacefully surrendered to what is, and are hanging in there. It's all we can do. I can totally relate to the frustrating times, and the times when you think whether this will be ever over, or you forget how much function you had before Lyme.
ReplyDeleteLove, and light,
Shadow
When was the last time your Vitamin D was checked? When this is out of whack you will have NO chance at re-cooperating energy, even fighting off this illness requires energy and if your body doesn't have any your just gonna remain stuck in this cycle.... Im totally aware of the Vitamin D controversy but the thing is, ya just cant heal with out it. Vitamin D in your body acts as a hormone type steroid, and steroids make you strong! (this is the only safe type of steroid for lymies) SO of course the bacteria and viruses are gonna eat it up because they want to be strong too, so you gotta keep replenishing it to give YOU strength and then hits those bugs as hard as you can before they eat it up again.... this has been a HUGE part of my recovery, a way to break out of the cycle....fighting bugs takes energy,when you have it, you can KICK their Butts!!!!! check it out... luvu, Alisa
ReplyDeleteLynnelle, I'm so sorry you have to go through this... Know that you are loved & have much to offer! Keep on fighting, girl! *hugs*
ReplyDelete