I couldn't believe how ok-ish I was feeling. Now, I was by no means feeling great or even good. But I was able to be out of bed and sit on the couch a few times.
Yes, I did have to medicate several times in order to handle the noise and commotion, but for the first 2 days, I was making it work. I even got out of the house to go for lunch and have a ride in his sweet rental car.
But by day 3, I was starting to crash. Headache/migraine all day(lasted 3 days) and in general, stuck in bed. But it worked out since he and my little sister went to the coast and I wasn't going anyway. And he left Wednesday. So it was a short trip but super nice of him to come!!
But having company made me face and really see the reality of my situation. I often just float along in denial of how sick and limited I am. I feel like garbage all the time, but I guess I've come to a place of acceptance of the situation where I don't pine away each week to go to church, or youth, or shopping. In fact, they look quite unattractive to me right now, being so sick. This is just normal life for me now.
But having company here and still spending most of my time in bed or laying on the couch, unable to go out with them, to really have the best time, reality slapped me in the face a bit. I really am sick. And it really is serious.
YES, I already know all this, but when this life becomes your normal, you just get used to it. I think its partially a coping mechanism, you just can't lay here each day wishing for the life that you can't have at the moment, you would go batty!
I have since found out that a lot of different people were praying for me this last week and I can say I felt them so much!! I was able to get through and enjoy some time with my cousin, which was wonderful!
I did however really crash the day he left, crashed pretty hard. Its taking me a while to pick back up but it was worth it! The sad thing was to see how hard I crashed, over being out of bed for such a small amount.
Literally, I was up with them for an hour maybe Sunday evening, out for lunch and a ride for 2 hours Monday, and then about an hour and a half Tuesday night. (I really can't remember for sure, but that really about it.)
I want to thank each one of you who were praying for me! Thank you so much!!!
And of course, Lee for coming to see me! (I don't know if he reads this, but thats ok! :)
I was slapped in the face with that reality when I decided I wanted to be the one to grocery shop this week ( which I haven't done in more than a year and a half). It was so difficult in so many ways! Lights, people, noise, being on my feet. It seems so simple, but in reality it's so challenging. I thought I was further along in getting well, but I now realize how much more work I have ahead of me!
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